Tuesday, December 6, 2011

like a million blade stab at the heart.


sometimes i felt like i didnt had a reason to go on this life.

i just dont know what happen to me lately.everything is not right.it seems somewhere inside my brain is damage i think?i've become much more sensitive towards other people.i could feel the pain eventhough they didnt tell me about it.

sometimes i do feel the pain inside me.whatever you showed me,whatever you talk to me,whatever you shared with me,i just cant stand to watch your tears falling down your cheeks.well as a friend i should wipe out your tears but sometimes,i've failed and i just had the feeling that i'm useless.they deserve much more than i could ever done.

day by day i keep on feeling the pain people around me.it do really make my tears falling down but i wont show the tears.all i've need to show is a sweetest smile for them.i need to be strong for them.i need to show them that they could do it without giving up.

there is so much happening around me that i could not and if i could,i dont want to see the facts around me.one by one of my friends is going to give up every second upon a life.and i keep on remind them to be positive for what ever happens in life.i know its not easy but all i could do is to be there for them whenever they need someone to talk with,someone to cry with,someone to share with and someone to wipe their tears.

i've got no strength left to hold.eventhough im weak,i tried to be strong for them because i keep on telling my self,if i give up on life,if i've gone,what about them?who will take place of me for them?who will be there for them if isn't me?

everyday at night,i look at the outside wondering what would happen to them if im not around.and without i noticing,i've wondering far away and tears start to falling down again every night.its hurt deeply inside when a precious and important person to me always said that they want to give up but they didn't know they are the reason that i hold on to not give up upon life.its really hurt.like a million blade stab at the heart.

i tried to not give up,but they didn't.i know it theirs decision to do what they want to do.and once again,i've lost my strength and soul.being weak once more.maybe the last...

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