setelah sekian lama tidak ber-update blog tiba-tiba aku terasa untuk membuka blog kembali.untuk menaip segala bait bait rasa dihati yang telah sekian lama terpendam didasar sanubari.
"When you have a good heart: You help too much. You trust too much. You give too much. You love too much & it always seems you hurt the most"
well thats true. so damn true.
have you ever felt like that before? trusting too much. loving too much. at the end they always disappointed you? hurt you.
well i have been there for many times and yet everything is being kept save inside the heart box of mine. its not im gonna complaint everything. it just i need to chill out and forget everything that happen that leads to the memory that i didnt want to remember.
life is full of stressed. stress about education. stress about emotion. stress about people around you. this world is not some kind of fairy tale story that we used to dream of when we're kids. a world which will hurt you the most when you start to feel responsible for everything that you have done or some else done around you.
this is life where it start to teach you how to live in this world. how you behave. how you think. its making you develop such as something that you didnt want to. a life where you decide everything when you grown up. people do learn from the mistake but then, what can you expect from a normal human being? they will keep on repeating the same mistake again and again eventhough they know its wrong to do that again.
same as i am. keep on repeating the same mistake again and again for loving too much. trusting too much in the end im gonna be stressed and hurt my own emotion. it is because im living through a fairy tale story which i dream about that, it is okay to be good to others even there is enemy. i believe that people do change someday.
but the reality is, it wont go as what i dream of.it will never be what i dream about. because this is reality which i dont hold the key to everyone. like i said. this is the life where you decide everything from the start. you choose to do it, nobody force you.
like the old people used to say, we make the plan but the rest that will decide is the only one God which is Allah. i know that is so true. but im a normal human being which keep on repeating the same mistake to who ever i've meet.
it just too stressed out to be in that condition. sometimes i wonder why i need to through all this thing. but deep inside me said that its gonna be worth. its gonna be worth in the future. believe it. im kinda doubt that. but for the mean time, let just wait and wait that it gonna turn back to be positive.